I have two secret superpowers. Want to know what they ares? Shhhhh. I’ll tell you: first, I can get lost. Oh, oh, I know what you’re thinking – anyone can get lost. No, not just anyone can. It takes a special talent to be able to get lost anywhere, at anytime, even with a map in one’s hands. I have this ability. I have been known to have my location firmly in mind, then turn around in a semicircle and be thoroughly confused as to my directions. *This* my friends, is a true superpower. This is also the superpower that makes my parents wonder whose child I am. After all, Daddy grew up on a farm: he can close his eyes, be spun in a circle thirty seven times, and then calmly pinpoint his exact degree of latitude and longitude. On the other hand, give me a map, compass, and GPS unit and I will still manage to head in the wrong direction.
My other superpower? I will without a doubt wander into the poorer sections in town. Now, getting lost is not the worst problem in the world – provided you home in on the richest and most ritzy parts of town and can then spend hours gawking at beautiful mansions and manicured lawns. On the other hand, this is my superpower that answers demonstrates without a doubt that I am my father’s daughter: the condition of wandering into the poorest and most interesting parts of a strange town is a genetic disease and my father has the same predisposition. Whether in Baltimore; Greeneville, South Carolina; or Pittsburgh, Daddy will always manage to take us on a tour of all the places Mommy would rather not venture. Of course, this becomes an undisputable advantage when looking at colleges. (I think one of the reasons I ended up where I did was that the town was small enough to not have any bad parts of town…to, in fact, barely be large enough to be a town.)
Together, however, these two superpowers are probably the reasons my parents are most reluctant to let me ever set foot out of the house. But when I do, boy, do I have fun.
(PS - my third superpower? Hyperbole.)
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