You know you've been in Jordan too long when....

…..you realize you have no need for a taxi, beyond speed. You can get anywhere you want by bus or serviis.

…..you realize you have most city bus routes memorized

…..you realize you have the fares for most of the city bus routes memorized

…..you think Western clothing is particularly ugly and uncomfortable

…..you look at Westerners as strange creatures and sadly click your tongue at their haram-ness. Shorts? Oh, my!

…..however, when you see obvious tourists, you immediately approach them to help them find their way around

……you are accustomed to seeing donkeys in the middle of your upscale neighborhood

…..you are accustomed to seeing sheep and goats grazing anywhere, particularly among church ruins

……you are absolutely sick of Roman ruins and if you hear the term Mamluk any more, you just might be ill

…..you are accustomed to 4 minute showers

……you would never throw the toilet paper in the toilet; it always goes in the waste can

…..you always carry TP with you, because even upscale restaurants will sometimes not supply it

……you have been to every worthwhile tourist site. Every. Last. One.

…..riding random busses and public transportation is no longer an adventure, but mundane

…..you have eaten at every restaurant in the guidebooks, and then some

….you know what the prices for most foods and basic goods should be and how to avoid being ripped off

….you can actually catch the waiter’s attention when you want to get your check

….you can ready Arabic calligraphy, because you read it all the time on the sides of buses you want to flag as they flash past you and

…..your favorite food is becoming “pita” bread because you eat it every morning

……falafel is becoming one of the four main food groups

……there are only four main food groups: falafel, hummus, babaghanouj, and bread

……you’ve forgotten what a sidewalk looks like

…..you stare when you see blonde hair

…..you can’t imagine using a credit card

…..you can tell by feel alone the difference between a 5 and 10 eirsh piece (they both have ridges on their sides and there is less than a millimeter’s difference in diameter)

…..you know how to flag taxis, serviis, city and private busses and you know how to stop/get off each one

…..most of the extra Arabic words you know outside class come from signs you’ve read: Not permitted, smoking, parking, drinking, recycling, company, establishment, foundation, center, complex/plaza, building, for sale, paints, tires, stores, bakery, sweet shop, car shop

….you can’t imagine drinking tea without mint

….freshly squeezed mango or guava juice is your daily drink of choice

…you are accustomed to seeing butcher shops with the animals displayed with enough gore to make Saw III proud

….you know where you can buy live roosters, chickens, rabbits, turtles, and sheep for your dinner

…..you know all the best places around to get fratta (change)

….English transliterations annoy you because how are you supposed to tell if that’s a taa or Taa?!

….you can probably recite the quran from memory because you’ve heard it played loudly in all the buses

….you hear Beethoven’s Fifth being tinnily played over the loudspeakers, and you don’t look for an icecream truck, you look for the brightly colored gas-selling truck

…digestive biscuits have become a major part of your life

….you walk through areas that would look like “bad neighborhoods” in the States all the time without fear of problem; when you see an area that looks like a Jordanian “bad neighborhood” you avoid it like the plague because it doesn’t correspond to anything you’ve seen in the states.

….you know more than you ever wanted to about the Arab Israeli conflict

….you keep your mouth shut if anyone ever asks you about the Arab Israeli conflict. Two state solution? Please. The only obvious solution is to send back every non-Palestinian to wherever their family came from 60 -100 years ago in some eastern European country…..somehow.

…..you’d rather take the stairs than the elevators, because the elevators are the slowest machines known to mankind

….you’d rather take a jet-pack than the stairs, because you know that hordes of shebaab will overtake the stairwells, thinking that they were obviously made for smoking and talking and drinking endless rounds of coffee

….you are accustomed to greetings lasting 15 minutes

….shouting doesn’t phase you; it only means someone is having a conversation

….seeing people throw trash on the ground only mildly irritates you instead of majorly infuriating you. Recycling? What’s that?

…you go to a pharmacist instead of a doctor to get whatever antibiotics you might feel you need

….seeing people walking dogs is a strange sight

….you think Nescafe is just a synonym for coffee

….you don’t get startled hearing gun fire in the evenings. It just means someone is getting married.

….you could win at any US version of frogger, since you regularly cross 8 lanes of roaring traffic

…you think that jeans and a sweater is perfectly reasonable attire in the summer

....Jordanians ask you about the best bus routes or approach you in the bus station, asking directions

…..you don’t remember what bacon tastes like