Sheepish secrets

“Hullo, George.”

“Afternoon, Rob.”

“Say, George,”

“Yes, Rob?”

“How’d’ya get your goats so fat-looking? Their coats are really good, too.”

“Well, Rob. Lemme tell you. It’s the best-kept secret this side o’ the Jordan, but what goats – and sheep – really like, what they really need is – “

“Yes, George?”

“Well, you mightn’t believe it, and that’s just fine by me, but lemme tell you. Sheep and goats purely *thrive* on church grass.”

“Church grass, George?”

“Yep, Rob. Church grass. Now, the way I reckon it is, them bishops or what not, they spilled some holy water probably on the church. Well, them churches are in ruins now, and where’d that holy water go, huh, Rob?”

“Where, George?”

“Why, into the ground, of course. So, the way I figure it is, that grass is just real holy now, and all it wants to do is grow. And it’s full off all sorts of good things. Well, Rob, all you gotta do to get some of this church grass is find yourself some ruined church and put your goats out there. They’ll just eat that grass right up, get fat in no time. ‘Course, if you don’t got no church grass around, that’s a problem, right there, Rob”

“Sure is, George. We don’t all have these churches just lyin’ around in ruins everywhere!”

“Right you are, Rob. But what you do have is just your general, run of the mill, average ruins everywhere. Now, I don’t know how they does it, but, Rob, just general ruins grass will get your goats and sheep and cows fat in no time flat, too. I reckon it’s the rocks as they do whatever rocks do – well, they just do something to the soil. Anyhow, all I know is, after church grass, general ruins grass is the absolute, best, tip-top, top-notch thing that sheep and goats like. Rob, they don’t like it, they love it.”

“So, that’s it, George?”

“Yep, Rob, that’s it. Just find you and your flock any one of the over 30,000 archaeological sites in Jordan, here, and those kids will be ready for market in no time flat!!”

“Boy, thanks, George!”

“No problem, Rob. No problem a’tall!”

......

My only question is, how do they pay admittance fee to most of these historical sites? I suppose it’s because “kids” get in free.